Minnesota Children's Museum

I think parenting comes from a lot of places. For me it comes from conversations with my wife, the emails she sends me from the Daily Groove (http://www.enjoyparenting.com/get-your-daily-groove), the Twin Cities Attachment Parenting group we are involved in, authors we've read (Sears, Kohn), my experience in becoming and being a teacher, my own experience as a child, and of course my own ideas. The latter is often luck and guessing with much reflection afterwards.


Yesterday we were at the Minnesota Children's Museum. We have been and will be going there a lot since Grandpa Bruce bought a membership for Adrian's birthday. Our plan was to spend a little more than an hour there. There are many rooms and many floors. I figure each trip with can focus on one or two. We from one spot to the next with ease. We even left the Children's Museum very easily on the quest for a snack. Some might say its a bribe, but I really think how you, the parent, views it goes a long way to how it will be interpreted. My intention was to move along through our day. I didn't threaten to withhold the snack, french fries, if it didn't go my way; nor did I see it or use it as an incentive. We were going to get the snack either way.


Upon reflection I decided that it must have been that the events were worded in a positive manner. For example, "Right now we need to go change Walters diaper. Then we can keep playing." Instead of, "We need to leave this room for a few minutes..." I thought that this was a clever, yet not entirely intentional, way to focus on what was next instead of what we were leaving behind.


Fast forward to today: a second Children's Museum visit to meet some friends. It is nice to have a membership. Wars fought; battles lost. I was telling my friend Steve about our trip to the museum the day before. As we were leaving, Adrian and I got into a battle of wills and stubborn-ness. He wanted to go see the crane and I wanted to put on our coats first. It became loud and ugly. I got him all the way out of the museum, through two sky walks, and into the car; he was still crying about the grapple. Then it hit me why can't we just go back in there. We didn't have anywhere we needed to be. When I thought about it, I really felt like a jerk. "We have to go now because you didn't put your jacket on..." We went back in there with the understanding that we would spend a few minutes with the grapple and then leave. He kept up his end of the deal. It probably cost us another half hour. Walter was sleeping the whole time. It totally changed Adrian's mood for the rest of the day.

Flexibility is the key. Its important that he witnesses my being flexible. Modeling is the most effective teaching tool. If he saw me stick to my guns and get my way, in effect winning, he might see it as an effective way for him.